in his book, for the love of god, d.a. carson highlights the disciples' doubt in mark's account of jesus walking on water. they were astonished, completely amazed, and utterly afraid. and this was after jesus had miraculously fed five thousand men with five loaves of bread and two fish in front of them. (as if that wouldn't be enough to convince someone of jesus' power.) carson writes, "their entire orientation was still too restricted, too focused on the immediacy of their fears, too limited by their ability to penetrate to the full mystery of who jesus is an why he came. this side of the cross and resurrection, we still have less excuse than they."
this side of the cross, i'm just as guilty of letting fear cloud my vision and losing my perspective on the power of christ in my life. when the disciples witnessed jesus preaching and performing miracles, they were still unclear about who he was and why he came--the details of his death and resurrection had not completely unfolded. they were walking by blind faith, and fearing much along the way. on this side of the cross, we know the story. we know why jesus came and what he accomplished, yet it's still difficult to believe at times. my fears compromise my faith and require daily surrender to refocus. my human inclination is to devise plans to combat my fears--like how to succeed in order to control my fear of failure--rather than pulling back the veil that my fears create and trusting in the one who fed, healed, shepherded, and saved the lost the lonely (and walked on water).
carson comments, "if jesus truly is the promised messiah, if he enjoys the powers he has already displayed, can any responsible disciple think that he is losing control? can any responsible member of the twelve [disciples] imagine that this sort of messiah could call disciples to himself, and then lose them all in a boating accident?" trusting in jesus will never fail, but allowing my fears to drive the boat will absolutely end up in a crash. this side of the cross, i have no excuse for not believing that.